HEY!! It's time for another LATE update from the Oratorium! Sorry about the lack of recent posting here, but I've been busy with the end-semester shtuffs I have to do and I have a lot of work and blah blah blah excuse blah blah blah blah explanation blah blah.
Some 16-yr-old girl ran away from home here in (**state**) recently, and called the police, saying she'd been kidnapped by a guy in a white van. Scores of FBI personnel, other police agencies, and (yes, even the hated) reporters showed up search for the girl, hopefully rescue her, and return her to her parents before some unimaginable thing happened to her at the hands of this insane kidnapper.
...she walzted back into town fifteen hours later, saying she'd escaped her kidnappers (yes, plural). She withdrew her statement later, saying she actually HAD NOT (surprise surprise) been kidnapped, but had ran off for a time, confused with life and its problems...
...SHUT UP!! What is WITH this recent trend of running away? Only a day or two after all of this, some girl did the SAME THING in Oklahoma, ran away and pretended to be kidnapped. Needless to say, the girls will most definitely be charged as strictly as can be: Filing a False Police Report. What? Isn't there something MORE that can be done to stop this? To stop these girls from wasting THOUSANDS of our taxpayers' dollars for a few hours of fame and attention? LIKE SPANKING THEIR BOTTOMS OR THE DEATH PENALTY OR SOMETHING???
*huff huff*....*huff huff*...at any rate, you'd think they'd learn from that one lady...the Run Away Bride with the horrendously buggy, bulging eyes. What was her name? Does History care?
I leave you with these thoughts, brave soul. May the Blessing of God go with you.
--The Blind Prophet