Beiber Time!

I can't even stand to post a photo of him, and it pains me to post about him, but...

BEIBER. I guess he needs a lawyer now! Everyone's probably already heard the latest about this "sensation" of a pre-teen pop star. It all began innocently in Canada... like so many other stories no one really cares about. (Sorry, leafies ;))...

Beiber was apparently playing laser tag over the weekend, enjoying himself immensely, when... word passed through the laser tag building that BEIBER IS IN THE HOUSE!!! So naturally, every kid in the building starts targeting the pop star, shooting him mercilessly and without pause. I have to admit; I'd do the same thing.

So apparently, while this was going on, one of the other children ALLEGEDLY yelled a homophobic slur at Beiber, who then ALLEGEDLY pushed/punched the kid. The kid's parents realized that their son had just been ALLEGEDLY assaulted by a millionaire, and so.... they are suing! Awesome!

Looks like Beiber needs to hire a good lawyer.

I have no advice for him.

----The Blind Prophet